The Wisdom of the Bog

Make no mistake, life is better for us now than it was for the bronze age people of long ago. But you have to give it to them – sometimes they had it right. Not always, but sometimes.

The prevailing theory with the bog bodies is that they ended up there as part of elaborate fertility rituals. A seandálaí appeared on TG4 the other day to further the very idea. She explained one particular incident as follows: a king was taken, a coarse rope thrown around his neck, whereupon it was turned around and about until the friction parted him from his head. I’m not sure if they took the nipples off this one, but thence, it was into the bog with him, presumably to fertilise the land with his kingly seed.

I’m sorry, but my respect to the institute of archaeology notwithstanding, I can’t abide this nonsense. Never explain by religion what can easily be explained by sheer mortal anger.

Who wouldn’t like to fix a tight rope around the housing minister’s neck and turn it round until his ministerial position is suddenly vacated? Throwing Shane Ross in front of a bus mightn’t solve the country’s transport issues, but that doesn’t mean the act wont be restoratative for us in its own way.

Where their leaders were concerned, the people of the bronze age had it right and the bog bodies are proof we can live in a society where leaders are beholden to the people. This is one law we should put back on the books. If Ireland’s soil mysteriously grows more fertile, so much the better.